A drop out’s journey of a life time

By ROBERT KAIA

Failure becomes a reality when one believes he or she has failed. Those are words and stands of one young Papua New Guinea who had initiated a journey amongst the odds from a challenging village setting to becoming a Psychological Health Counsellor in Queensland, Australia.

Philip Senior Onasu from Kagua, Southern Highlighands Province is one such showing the contrast of school leavers who tend not to accept what is in the norm in drop out but to get out of it. Applying the power of the mind in being creative, taking on the challenge to make it happen in life otherwise life would just have been a boring village living on subsistence farming on the land. Here is Mr Onasu’s journey as he tells it.

In short, I completed year 12 at Saint Fidelis College in Madang in 1998 and applied for Law studies at the University of Papua New Guinea (UPNG) for the following year, but unfortunately, I was not selected. I was, however, selected at the University of Goroka and Madang Teachers College, but due to financial issues, I could not make either.

My parents were subsistence farmers, and they could not support me. I have many brothers and sisters who were working at the time, but they too, had their issues and commitments also made it harder for them to support me either. As a result, my option of studying in Papua New Guinea became limited, purely because, I did not have a financial backup. It was absolutely hard to study in PNG so the only option I had was to look for overseas scholarship studies.

So, it was the end of January 1999, and I was in my village with my dad, late chief Onasu. I remember, my old man saying to me, “son it’s going to be tough now for you”, and said I had two choices. One was, me staying with him and cultivate the land, or I find my way to Wabag, and see if my brother could help me in studying or work. My brother Jethro was teaching in Wabag at the time. I said to my dad, I will not stay home, I would rather find a way to go back to school.

In the afternoon I went to see my girlfriend (ex) Rose Mambo that time. She has helped me a lot and I do still think of her sometimes to thank her. I slept over at her house that night before I left for Wabag the next day. She helped me with K50. My brother was not quite happy with me arriving at his door, but he could not send me back so I stayed with him all of 1999 and 2000. I was playing rugby with Wabag Royals in those years, but I did not give up on going back to studies though. I remember, my brother brought a Post-Courier newspaper. It was at the beginning of March 2000, and inside was an application form for AUSAID scholarship studies the following year. My brother said, there is an application form to fill in for interested applicants for the AUSAID scholarship, so I applied to study Justice studies at Griffith University.

A couple of months later, I got a mail back from AUSAID that I have been selected to go to Brisbane to do Justice Studies at Southbank TAFE from 2001-2003. I was so over the moon and thanked my God for not giving up on me. It was not easy, but I had faith in God.

Anyway, I returned to PNG in 2003 after completing my studies and stayed in Port Moresby with my cousin brother Peter Yakopa, but I moved out and stayed with Robert Kaia at Rainbow village. I still have good memories with Robert Kaia, aka Fada RK. I also met a Fiji-Australian woman during my study in Brisbane, who also financed my living in Port Moresby from time to time. It was really hard to live in Port Moresby without a job, and my relationship with my partner in Brisbane started dwindling. She could not help me anymore. She also challenged me to challenge myself and get out of Port Moresby.  So, I decided to apply for studies again, and I planned not to return to PNG.

In 2005, I applied for NZAID and JICA scholarships, where I got both scholarships. I got accepted to study at the beginning of 2006, a Bachelor of Human Services in Otago University for 4 years. I was also accepted to study Public Policy at the University of Tokyo for 6 years. I spoke to my girlfriend (now wife) about what best offer I should accept. After discussion, I accepted the offer to go to New Zealand. It was not easy to be accepted into these studies, I worked hard with persistence, having faith in GOD, and believe in having positive goals

Frankly speaking, what drove me in my journey was about questioning my existence in this world and being reluctant to accept that I was a failure. I did not believe in failing in life. I did not allow the experiences of living on the streets of Port Moresby, having one meal a day, having no money at all, and feeling been hopeless to define me. I believed and still believe that God made us for a purpose, and it is up to us to find those purposes. God does not want us to live life in a “fight, flight, freeze” mode of lifestyle. Each one of us has a purpose and we must find that purpose meaningfully. I do not believe in failures, it only becomes real, when you and I quit trying.

We only use 10% of Cerebral (relating to the brain) capacity, and it is up to us to use the remainder of 90%. We are more than capable human beings and it is only up to us to think beyond what we already know. This is what drives me; I believe in going beyond what I already know. I have a choice to do that, and you also have that choice to do it. Having excuses only justifies your mental weakness. I call this “Mental Procrastination”.

The major challenge for me is being oblivious to know that, I am only the challenger to myself. I have a mirror in the front of my room door so I can see myself each morning I wake up. This is because I want to look at the mirror and tell myself, am only going to challenge myself.

Another change is (humanly speaking), mental stress. This happened to me when I was working in Far North QLD as a DFV Specialist, attached to QLD Magistrates Court. I started a program in Mt Isa, and my envisaged outcome did not work out the way I expected. Mentally, I stressed out myself doing a full-time job and also doing my master’s degree, and the outcome did stress me a lot, but again, it comes back to believing in what you do and having your God by your side. It was a total disaster and failure, but, as I said, I do not let failure define me.

I left Port Moresby city years ago, and I kept my promise that I will reach my mental limitation. I am a strong believer, knowing failure only becomes your enemy when you allow it to be your enemy. Potential challenges that come in-between only occur, when we allow the notion of “mental aberration”. Mental Aberration is when we shift our focus, our consciousness and when we deviate our mind away from its normal process of conceptualization or simply when we do things differently, away from the strategically envisaged direction. I also believe that yesterday’s challenge is bigger than today’s challenge.  

It has been 21 years since I left the streets of Port Moresby, and I have not stopped believing in my purpose and to continue learning. I have a couple of degrees now. A degree in Human Services, a Master of Social Worker/Mental Health, a Postgraduate Certificate in Business Administration, awarded the best Practitioner Development Officer 2019 by QLD Corrective Services. Currently, I am doing a double Master of Counselling and Psychotherapy at the Australian College of Applied Psychology. I am also the Owner and Managing Director of Psychosocial Health Counselling Services, QLD. I started my company in 2016 and my company’s primary purpose is in Behavioural Remodification Counselling for domestic & family violence perpetrators program and mental health clients counselling. I work closely with QLD Corrective Services, QLD Police, QLD Child Protection Services, and QLD judiciary system/Courts. I am also writing a book titled “The Man in the Mirror: 25 years of walking uphill”. 

My advice to young Papua New Guinea is that be different among your peer groups. If you are reading this, I want to ask you a question “what is your purpose?” I asked this same question to myself 25 years ago before coming to Australia. If you tell yourself, you have no money to pay for school fees. I tell you. I did not have money to pay for my school fees, but I reached out for scholarships. You must set a goal and work towards it. If you fail, try differently and you’ll be amazed to see, there is no failure.

Your purpose is to live a meaningful life, not squabbling and squandering in the shadows of someone else’s success. Your God is greater than your issues. Your purpose is not to “see issues, challenges, failures and weakness”, as objects blocking your life. They are all mental concepts, ideas, and thoughts. You can replace them with words like success, champion, survive, belief, and achievements in your mind. Do not give up on yourself, quitting is the start of surrendering to your defeat. If you fail, try again, again, and again…. Failed 19 times and succeed in 20 attempts.

Changing your thinking changes your world.